Don’t Forget To Close Your Mouth

January 27, 2015 § 3 Comments

“He forced me.”
“How? What did he do?”
“You don’t want to know…”
“He held me down…I didn’t want to do it…”
“So he…rapes you?”
“It’s why I sleep on the camper chair”
“Didn’t you say he was good to you? …that he appreciates you?”
“…when it happens, I stop and just lie there. I don’t do anything…me yi me ni”

“He’s not like you”

I could say more, but seriously, raping a girl or woman who sleeps next to you doesn’t make you a man. I know somehow Ghanaian women are brought up to think their vaginas belong to their husbands to use if, when, how, and however long they want. I’ve had sex three times over an hour. First time, I was 22 and we wanted to try all day…that didn’t go very well…3 hours maybe. I chaffed and was sore for days. Not fun! The next two were with her. At some point, when you know you won’t come, it becomes a chore you’d rather avoid…especially when you can no longer feel her. But you both love each other and enjoy each other’s company, so it doesn’t feel all bad.

But imagine being raped for 2 hours by a man at 1am you don’t even like but live with because he gives you chop money. She calls it casual rape or “forced,” but whatever euphemisms you choose to make it easier to swallow, it’s still 2 hours of being pounded by a man you don’t want inside you. And being a Ghanaman, he’ll make sure he’s rough and uncaring in his quest to squeeze a year’s worth of sex into one late-night session you can’t escape.

But he’s a man.

A few many moons ago this same she was in bed with me. I wanted it. She didn’t.
“I’m sleepy…wait till morning.”
Fair enough.
I gently stroked her neck and kissed it. Then some kisses to the shoulder…collarbone, bicep, elbow. As I did all this, I gently rubbed her back.
“Massage me,” she muttered from under the pillow.
I peeled off the blanket. Then I took out the cocoa butter and placed it the small of her back. I started out with the shoulder moving both hands at the same time up to her neck and back down her shoulders…then back…a gentle deep slide down her back. Think of your thumbs touching with the  remaining 8 fingers spread out to the ribs.

I kneaded up and down till I got to her buttocks. She almost reflexively raised her butt as I touched her panties to take them off. And off they came. Even if you’re clueless about massages, simply cup each butt cheek and gently knead. I kept going. The body that was tired and sleepy 10 minutes ago now had her legs opening more and more for inner thigh massage…attention is what it seemed to me.
I didnt bother too much with the massage at this point. It was a damned good one, but I like to spoil my partners. So on with an inverted upside down mouth on vulva “massage.”

I wasn’t doing it to get laid. It just felt like the thing to do. It’s 10 something…my middle finger slides in. She gets more intense.
“Put it in!”

After that night, massages became a nightly affair. She’d even come over in the afternoons to shower just so I would massage her with cocoa butter and do the other things.

You wanna get laid? Do what your woman enjoys. She’s not simply a warm body to use up for 2-hour nightly sessions whenever you get “hot.”


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